What is sex for you?
Such a strange question, right? Have you ever been asked this question or heard an answer to it? What are the experiences that you consider sex? What does it mean for your body to orgasm? Do you consider touching sex? Can a conversation be sex for you? Does sex require penetration? Also,think about times when you had great sex. Now think about the times where you had sex that was not as great. What was the difference?
On a sheet of paper in your journal, write down all of the acts and/or gestures that you consider sex. Next, on the other side of that page, write down all of the things that have made you aroused and/or orgasm. If you have never achieved an orgasm, what have you felt? What do you imagine an orgasm might feel like? What led to this? Be detailed and provide examples.
If you are not sure, this could be a good time to experiment with yourself a little. Here are some examples:
Things I consider sex: masturbation, phone sex, sexting, kissing, massaging.
Things that make me aroused/orgasm: Direct clitoral stimulation (vibrator, especially in a circular motion), some nipple stimulation prior to orgasm.
You can also use this reflection as a chance to check in with yourself (emotionally, physically, mentally, spiritually etc.)